Here is my story - a story that I never thought I would be writing.
Doing this will hopefully raise awareness of how poor our system is , how corrupt it is and how many thousands of residents have been failed .
My dad was admitted to New Cross Hospital in Wolverhampton on November 29th 2020 . He had what I would describe a breakdown - he had Vascular Dementia. He was taken by ambulance he was 81 years of age and they handcuffed him. I’m broken typing this - he was the kindest gentleman ever, I never heard him swear or get angry, he was just a beautiful soul .
During his time at New Cross Hospital was when the system became an eyeopener for me as an outsider .
My dad was a proud man ,immaculate but need prompting to eat ,wash and drink.
On a couple of occasions I would go onto the ward and take a look in the bathroom all the men used. It would have faeces on the shower seat ,toilet would be a disgrace and urine all over the floor. would go in and clean it before I helped dad shower, my choice ,but they used to rush him and he would get aggressive.
He was a 1:1 as were the others on the ward. This never happened. The nurse on duty would be filling in notes ,patients who should aided when walking were not, so I not only looked after my dad but the others, through choice may I add, they were so very understaffed a couple of nurses were at breaking point .
So I decided to take it further when I found the men on the ward one day at 11am dark, sitting up a corner, no staff ,no 1-1. I sat there with them in the dark until someone came in about 30-40 mins later. I had a meeting with the sister - her words were "well what do you want"
I told her "these men are someone's father brother, grandad - they should not be left alone. It states that on the door does it not"
I said the bathroom is filthy, the staff are dead on their feet, you have very little staff to manage these people - some don’t even eat and there food is taken away. No stimulation . I said its absolutely shocking to witness.
Three months later I had a call from the Head of the department to say they had taken on another nurse and two HCA’S from my complaint .
My dad was found a Care Home in Stafford. Lovely on the outside ,shocking on the inside. Fees were £1600.00 per week. We moved dad in - it was absolutely filthy ,so we cleaned the room before dad arrived, made it so cosy. Dad settled in then as the days went on my dad was becoming agitated .
Walking in one day he lifted his top up and said "look what they have done to me" . I said who he said them they did it here and he pointed to a corner behind the door . I calmed him down he was crying "I don’t want to stop here take me home" I wanted to get to the bottom of it .
The next day SS were coming in to discuss his funding and it came up in conversation. SS then said we believe your father has been abused. They asked why dad was on pain relief but they didn’t know. SS asked for the files . Nothing had been logged - in that room was an ex police officer.
I took it further as you could see the punch marks from knuckles under my dads ribs, bruising on his arms. We found out who did it and he was told to leave the premises. On leaving he came back and he still works there with very vulnerable people. I tracked him down on Facebook and what I came across was shocking. I emailed the home and showed them his posts and said you let this look after our vulnerable loved ones. I said its disgusting. Moving forward after putting a complaint in, I had a call to say they had come to a decision and it was inconclusive about Dad being abused .
I said I was told verbally by my own father - he showed me who it was. He had bruising ,SS said they believed he had been abused ,he was even on pain relief for it yet your decision is inconclusive. I said what a disgusting corrupt system we live in and asked them to get my dad out of there asap.
I was told my Dad had been sleeping in the lounge from that point. I then realised he was too scared too go down the corridor to his own room ,so chose to sleep in a chair where there were others around. This breaks my heart - he loved his bed so I knew that wasn’t right .
We had a call to say they had found a room at a local care home just round the corner form me. I looked at the CQC it stated it was good. God only knows why?? I went in prior to my dad moving there. I blitzed got it all ready. When he arrived in an ambulance on his own he came in the room and collapsed on his bed. They didn’t even give me a time ,they despise families being around to settle loved ones in, its absolutely disgusting. Can you imagine being moved somewhere unfamiliar in an ambulance with no familiar face going to a property which is now your home .
Again I was broken when I saw the state of him ,he was a mess, his belongings just chucked into black bin liners , no empathy shown at all.
So I settled him in ,went for a walk to the dining room There were residents asleep in there, covered in food . The carers chatting away to each other. I took Dad back to his room and he seem settled so I waited until he fell asleep.
I visited most days. The last day I visited was Good Friday 2020. I took him some easter eggs to the door. We had actually gone into lockdown by this time so I then went to his window. He was brought in the room by a male care and he had nothing on his feet. I said could you put some socks and slippers on my Dad's feet they are purple. He replied "urrghh I don’t do feet". I literally had to beg him. I thought if he cant touch residents feet ,why the hell is he a care worker.
I handed my Dad a cream egg - he absolutely loved it. He said my name and that I was his daughter. I hadn’t heard that for such a long time ,I thought we've got him back.
Next day I got a call to state that I couldn't go again as I wasn’t power of attorney and that I had handed my dad a cream egg.
So when I called instead, the care home Manager stated I could call again. I didn’t know my Human Rights at this time. She stated because I wasn't Power Of Attorney I couldn’t call so for 2 whole weeks only my sister could update me
On Friday the 25th of April at 5pm I decided to call. I knew that after 5 pm the Manager had gone home. I said I'm calling to see how my dad is. They said he's fine, he's said and hello how are you? He's pottering around chatting away. I aske what his fluid intake was like - they said ok he's been a bit sick but he's fine.
I stated he's not end of life is he because I would never be able to live with not saying goodbye. She replied no nothing of the sort. He is fine honestly. I asked what their procedures would be if he were. She said we would call you in get your PPE ON. Again I sated I could never live with myself. I hung up the phone feeling better.
Four hours later my dad had died all alone. On his death certificate they put Dementia. He didn’t die of Dementia and there was no doctor to confirm his death ???? So I contacted the CQC . After a few weeks they called me back to state they believe dad died of Covid and possibly choked to death.
Reflecting back on the system , it is broken. It is appalling how every professional involved is linked one way or another, too many backs are covered. These professionals should all be held accountable for the neglect, heartache and misery they have all caused.
I contacted the police regarding the ex police officer ,sitting on a panel when my dad was abused nothing done .
I contacted a Coroner for my area. I spoke to his secretary because he has failed thousand. I said who is above this man and she stated nobody. No one can go above him and it is his word you have to go by.
After much reflection my father was failed by many !!!!
The Local Authorities for allowing these Care Homes to run with skeleton staff, no training. Staff should be at least a grade 4 to deal with such a complex illness.
The Care Home failed my father ,and the Company Four Seasons Healthcare failed my father ,
Social Services failed my father, CQC failed my father, our Local MPS ,The Police but most of all THE GOVERNMENT for allowing it. Allowing investors to make huge profits from Care Homes who then launder their money in tax free havens living their best life .
When it should be our loved ones living their final years in peace ,harmony, warmth. Where food is plentiful, laughing surrounded by people that care. How far from the truth this is. Instead they are left for hours on end, no contact, no stimulation, no comfort ,in what I can only described as a prison . Prisoners get treated better.
All these so called professionals who have had any dealings with our loved ones, who have suffered from abuse ,mentally ,physically ,who have starved them , died form dehydration, bed sores ,catheters not changed days on end ,medication not given correctly or medication given to keep them drowsy . They class themselves as nursing homes and don’t have nurses on site - claiming money for 3 to 1 care and within a week they are alone. Many claim 1 to 1 do our loved ones get it NO they don’t .
To have to beg to see our own loved ones. I would rather be on my knees looking after my dad than put him in one of these institutions. There is no care, its all for profit.
I pray with all my heart and soul these people that have done wrong and neglected our loved ones in any way, shape or form get there comeuppance. We have no room in society for them. I don’t know how they sleep at night - they should all be put on a stand ,I cannot wait for that day to come .
#Antoniaslaw - we desperately need CCTV to be installed remotely in Care Homes to protect our vulnerable loved ones.
It has been such a horrendous two years of my life ,as I know it has been horrendous for many others ,but together we are stronger and a change has to come.
I will never get over not saying goodbye to my dad ,I feel I have failed him massively but I didn't fail him
Care Home Providers /Investors
Care Home Managers.
The blame starts at the top and these bastards should all be held accountable.
Form a broken hearted daughter